CinemaSerf

Now for any Brits watching this absurd drivel the most memorable thing - and that really is saying something - will be the frequent repetition of the "Mastermind" theme tune. Otherwise, this is a completely forgettable piece of nonsense that sees a diver (John Ashley) kidnapped and taken to an island populated by creatures that would not look out of place in Madame Tussauds so that he can be experimented on by the evil "Dr. Gordon" (No, not the one from "Black Beauty"!). The results of his failed efforts are all over the place - indeed, the island actually has a real life "Mr. Tumness" and a sort of bat-man creature - oh, and don't forget "panther girl". It is preposterous at every level; the make up has been way too close to the big lights; the dialogue written in haste on the back of a stamp and the performances - especially from a very, very wooden Jan Merlin leave me wondering if Eddie Romero ever actually watched the scenes as he directed them...